Accountable Kids

A Moms 12 Days of Christmas Wish List

2011-12-23T09:20:00.000-08:00

One clean house,

Two well-mannered children,

Three home cooked meals,

Four paws wiped before coming inside the house,

Five minutes to myself,

Six cups of coffee,

Seven loads of laundry washed, dried, and folded,

Eight bags of groceries delivered to my door,

Nine dozen Christmas cards addressed, stamped, and mailed for me,

Ten dozen cookies baked for teacher gifts, cookie swaps, and parties,

Eleven presents purchased that the recipients won’t want to return,

And last but certainly not least, twelve hours of sleep!

Great Movie for the Family

2011-11-21T17:23:00.000-08:00

Every so often a movie or a book comes around that is just too good not to share. Temple Grandin is a phenomenal story about an amazing woman with autism. This true story is interesting, heartfelt, and thought provoking. The movie creates an immediate springboard for in depth discussions on autism, perseverance, bullying, and love.

As a side note my husband was walking by the living room as we started the movie. I encouraged him to watch it with us and he said he was too busy. After standing in the hall for 45 minutes, he finally sat down and watched the ending and said, "Wow, that was a really good movie." My 8, 10 and 13 year olds even made me pause the movie for a bathroom break so they wouldn't miss anything.

At the end of the movie my daughter turned to me and said, "Mom, I bet there are other kids out there like Temple who look different and don't seem smart at first, but they are gifted and have a purpose from God." I think I will have to buy this movie so we can watch it again.

Today my daughter asked if she could do something different for science. She wanted to make an Ames optical illusion room box like in the movie Temple Grandin. We spent hours learning about optical illusions and learning how to make this room. It was a great science day where we all learned something new!

Do you have a favorite movie? We would love to hear from you.

Thinking Outside the Box

2011-09-29T15:29:00.000-07:00

How many times do you give empty threats … how many times do you say the same thing? Even though we developed the Accountable Kids program, my husband and I are still trying to get this parenting thing right. Let's face it, parenting is tough! We do the best with what we have, and every day we try to raise accountable kids.

Lately we have had trouble getting the girls to go to bed quietly. The Privilege Pass was a great incentive to help our young kids develop a positive habit of going to bed, but now that our kids are 12, 10 and 8 we found ourselves in need of something more. We needed an "out of the box" solution.

Yesterday was a very busy day and dinner was late. I sent the girls up to bed. I told them I would clean up the kitchen and do the dishes, but I warned them that if they didn't go straight to bed I would have them come down and clean. Needless to say, I had to run upstairs several times to tell my girls to be quiet, settle down and get to sleep. One needed another drink, the other had to go to the bathroom and needed something in another room. Then I found them jumping on the bed and running around the room. They were wound up and having a great time while I finished all the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. I was tired and not in a good mood! I was full of empty threats and no consequences.

On the way up to their room, yet again, I realized that I was saying, “If I have to come up one more time and quiet you down, there will be a problem.” I realized that I was the one with the problem, not them. My problem was that I had not set a definite consequence for the behavior that was troubling me; I needed a consequence that was impactful.

I decided my “out of the box” solution was to put their energy to good use. I turned on the light and told the two girls who couldn’t settle down to get up. I didn’t get upset and did it in a pleasant, loving matter. I told them I was sorry they had made the choice, but if they were so energized, they could come downstairs and vacuum and fold laundry. They looked at me like I was crazy. Suddenly they were very tired. These were not easy jobs and took time to complete. When they were finished I told them I loved them, appreciated their work, thanked them, and was sorry that they chose not to go to bed. As they were wearily getting into bed I told them the floors still needed to be mopped if they still were not ready to sleep. They went to bed tired and quietly fell asleep.

The next day we discussed choices and consequences together as a family. We went over bedtime rules and the specific consequences for not following those rules. That night the girls went to bed and all was quiet. It felt great to know that if they chose to stay up the consequence would not be on me! This "out of the box" solution has brought peace once again to our evenings. It is just another reminder that It’s up to us, the parents, to set limits and enforce boundaries in a creative, respectful manner so that our children can learn important life lessons.

Do you have an "out of the box" idea? I would love to hear from you.

Gratitude

2011-08-04T08:31:00.000-07:00

There is a great deal of negative energy in the world today - wars, riots, natural disasters, pain, suffering, anger, and hatred. Many of us are also facing huge challenges, obstacles or discomfort. At times we may feel overwhelmed and powerless because of what we see and experience. During these times we can see the world’s view or we can CHOOSE to accept a higher perspective. This can be done through the powerful lens of gratitude. Adopting this view can change everything.

Gratitude is the key to peace and serenity in your life. Gratitude is a magic key that opens your heart up to giving and receiving love. It involves being grateful for ALL things in your life, letting go, and experiencing the healing power of love in all situations.

Feel gratitude this day for your life and your abundance. This day, with all its seeming problem and difficulties, is absolutely perfect if viewed from a new perspective. Feel the joy of life, and view the wonders of your world.

The future is unsure, but this beautiful moment shines in radiant perfection, holding gifts and blessings that only can be experienced as you let go of how things ought to be and joyfully experience life just as it is this moment. The abundance and the joys of life are everywhere. They are often found in the small, simple things in life. Savor, appreciate and give thanks. Express gratitude and make it the way you live your life this day. Observe your experiences change as you give thanks in all things and for all things. Gratitude fuels love and love fuels gratitude. Write down your blessings, record your gratitude, and observe your day expand in joyful appreciation.

What are you thankful for today?

Towel off Excess Water Use

2011-03-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

It is more and more common to see hotels encouraging guests to conserve water by re-using towels. Studies show that you can help a hotel conserve up to 40% of its water use by simply not having your sheets and towels changed every day.

I began wondering how I could bring this idea into my own home. I was struggling with an issue of wet towels on the floor. I was the daily maid responsible for picking up towels and then adding them to an ever growing laundry pile. If my kids couldn't find a towel, they just reached for a new, fresh towel adding more to my workload.

All this added up to more water, more electricity and more work for me due to my kids lack of responsibility. Our family came up with an idea that has solved the wet towel problem! Each week in our family meeting everyone picks out a new towel for the week. Our kids enjoy selecting a color and are learning to be responsible for taking care of that towel for an entire week. When the kids remember to hang their towel up to dry, they are the one who benefits from a clean smelling towel each day. Another great perk is when a parent sees a wet towel on the ground, the kids know exactly who the towel belongs to. No more picking up wet towels for mom and dad and our laundry pile is definitely smaller!

Do you have a helpful tip that can save parents time and energy? I would love to hear from you.

Morning Coffee

2011-03-02T11:18:00.000-08:00

Today my 12 year old daughter handed me a story she had written that is a spoof on the book If you give a Mouse a Cookie. It is amazing how true her words are. Makes you wonder if we ever really get anything done. Thought you would enjoy a look into my crazy life. Tomorrow I will make a plan to follow through with one thought before moving onto the next!

When you give your mom her coffee she’ll want a doughnut to go with it. She’ll look in the fridge and find the fish she was thawing for dinner. She’ll take out the fish and grease a pan. While greasing the pan she spots her computer. Seeing the computer reminds her she has to e-mail a friend back about summer camp. She hurriedly puts the fish in the oven and walks over to the computer. While typing she makes a spelling error which reminds her she promised to drill her daughter on the spelling words for the spelling b. She’ll grab the spelling list knocking a bill off of the counter. Picking up the bill she realizes it’s late. She’ll run back to the computer and close down the unfinished e-mail. While finishing up the bill two of her daughters get into a fight. She will run upstairs to stop the arguing. After a long lecture her eight year old points out that something smells like it’s burning, remembering the fish she’ll rush down the stairs cursing silently. By the time she gets down stairs the fish is a smoking mess. She’ll hurry to take it outside and trips over the boots scattered by the back door. She’ll set down the pan and starts to pick up the boots. While cleaning up the boots she finds a pair of dirty socks and puts them in the laundry. She realizes she needs to do a load of laundry before dinner. When she’s done with the laundry she sees her children playing in the back yard near the flower garden. She remembers that one of her new year’s resolutions was to grow a garden. She goes out to water the flowers still thinking about New Year’s resolutions. She’ll remember another resolution she made was to get in shape. Remembering the brochure for a running club she’ll go inside forgetting about the flowers. While online she discovers a running club near her area. She’ll pile the kids into the car to check it out. While driving to the fitness center she remembers she needs more milk and cheese at the grocery store and pulls into the parking lot of the grocery store. While in the parking lot she notices they have a sale in the nursery. She’ll buy the plants and head for home. When her husband gets home dinner isn’t ready, her promise to her daughter about spelling forgotten, the bill isn’t paid, the e-mail unsent, the burnt fish is still by the back door, the shoes not picked up, the laundry not done, the flowers are wilting, she forgot about the running club, there is no milk and cheese, and she never got the doughnut to go with her coffee. When the kids go to bed she heats up the coffee forgets about it, leaves it in the microwave and heads to bed determined to get more done tomorrow. And with that promise she falls asleep with her coffee still in the microwave ready for the morning reheat!

Charlotte Mason's Students Motto

2011-01-25T12:48:00.000-08:00

I am . . . a child of God, a gift to my parents and my country. I'm a person of great value because God made me.

I can . . . do all things through Christ who strengthens me. God has made me able to do everything required of me.

I ought . . . to do my duty to obey God, to submit to my parents, to be of service to others, and to keep myself healthy with proper food and rest so my body is ready to serve.

I will . . . resolve to keep a watch over my thoughts and choose what's right even if it's not what I want.

Yesterday a friend of mine introduced me to a great spelling program for kids called Spelling Wisdom. Each week parents combine spelling with inspirational thoughts that build character, virtues, and values. In the beginning the lesson is only one simple sentence, but as children learn more and more words, the sentence turns into a small paragraph which is learned, discussed and then dictated to a child so they can write it out in proper form. Today we started the first lesson which was Charlotte Mason's motto for her students. I loved this motto so much that I wrote it on our kitchen white board and our morning devotional was based on the principles behind her motto.

I am, I ought, I can, I will are like four steps of the ladder that St. Augustine wrote about when he said we could 'go up on the stepping stones of the old, sinful man we cast off and are dead to, and ascend to higher things.' I am means that we can know ourselves and understand what we're really like. I ought means that we have a moral judge inside us. We feel like we're subject to it. It lets us know what our duty is and compels us to do it. I can means that we know we have the ability to do what we know we're supposed to. I will means that we resolve to use the ability we know we have to do what our inner moral judge has urged us to do. Resolve is the first step in actually doing. These four thoughts make a perfect, beautiful chain . . . (You can read Charlotte Mason's exact wording on page 330 of volume 1.)

2010-11-27T10:16:00.000-08:00

A few months back I received this great Family Mission Statement from SueAnne who is one of our amazing consultants. SueAnne lives in Washington state and has been with Accountable Kids since 2007. Accountable Kids feels so fortunate to know SueAnne and have her be apart of our team! I loved her mission statement so much that I wanted to share it with all of you. Enjoy!!

Kolby Family Mission Statement….

Our mission is to….

Love each other no matter what.
Be honest and open with each other.
Always be kind, respectful, and supportive of each other
Always resolve conflicts with one another rather than harbor anger.
Respect and accept each person’s unique personality and talents.
Wisely use our time, talents and resources to bless others.
Have fun together and worship together.
Live out our faith with courage.
Make our home a nurturing place of faith, order, Truth, love, peace, and joy.

Sharing the workload

2010-08-24T07:30:00.000-07:00

Last week I was doing a "deep cleaning" in my front room. It had been so long since I had done more than a quick clean that cobwebs were starting to form in the corners. :) Enough was enough! It was time for one room in my home to be really clean! I decided to focus on cleaning the front room and got out the cleaning gear.

My kids had already done their basic chores and were outside playing. As I cleaned the ceiling fan, dusted the blinds, washed the windows, and cleaned the baseboards I realized that my kids didn't know how to do a deep cleaning, let alone know anyone ever did this. They do their basic chores, but I had never showed them how to go through a room from top to bottom. This was my job...right? Well it reminded me of something a mom once told me. “If you have teenagers and you are still doing housework, you have missed your promotion.” I was definitely not headed towards a promotion anytime soon! I still do the majority of work around the house...and most if it goes unnoticed and unappreciated.

I came up with an idea that we are going to start next month. I have three girls and each month we will pick three rooms to deep clean. One week a month I will have one child help me. We will focus on one room and really do a deep cleaning. This will be a teaching time and opportunity to focus on developing the skills of one child. By the end of the year I am hoping my girls will learn what it takes to keep a home clean and realize that their basic chores are not the only cleaning jobs to be done each month. This may help my kids learn "attention to detail" and develop skill that will help them when they are in their own homes.

Do you have an idea you would like to try? We would like to hear from you.

Do you have a helpful parenting tip that has worked for your family? Please share.

2010-07-29T09:31:00.000-07:00

Some days are just crazy! But hopefully chaos is not the norm for your home. Last month my daughter, mom, and I were traveling to a show in NY when we stopped by an old church in the area. They had a small business card with the following message that is a great reminder for me to Take Time for what is really important. Hope you enjoy!

Take Time
Take time to think
It is the source of all power
Take time to play
It is the secret of perpetual youth
Take time to read
It is the fountain of wisdom
Take time to pray
It is the greatest power on earth
Take time to love and be loved
It is a God given privilege
Take time to be friendly
It is the road to happiness
Take time to laugh
It is the music of the soul
Take time to give
It is too short a day to be selfish
Take time to work
It is the price of success
Take time to do charity
It is the key to heaven

New Product

2010-05-14T08:42:00.000-07:00

Looking for a unique gift that kids will love. Check out our new Helper Stools! We had a local artist make one for our kids so they could easily reach the bathroom sink. It was such a hit that now we have decided to carry this product on our own site. If you have ever priced log furniture,you will know that these are priced well below retail. Our kids have their stools in their rooms and use them for a bedside book stand, footstool, and reading chair. We even added one to the kitchen and the kids no longer jump up on the counter to reach things.

These are simply adorable! Made from reclaimed lumber from the north rim of the Grand Canyon, these stools are heavy duty and one of a kind. You can even customize them with your family name, child's name, or stick figures. Too cute! Check it Out

2010-05-09T10:59:00.000-07:00

Mothers
The young mother set her foot on the path of life. She asked, "Is this the long way?" And the voice said: "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning."

But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, "Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children, "A little patience and we are there." So the children climbed and when they reached the top, they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."

And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today, I have given them strength."

And with the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled, and the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light." And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory of stars, and they guided them beyond the darkness. And that night the Mother said, "This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children the Great Spirit."

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and a beautiful land. And mother said: "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them."

And the children said, "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone on your journey to the sky." And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and she walked out of sight. And they said: "We cannot see her, but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living presence."

Your Mother is always with you. She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street, she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered clothes she's the cool hand on your brow
when you're not well.

Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop. She's the place you came from, your first home; and she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love and your first heartbreak,
and nothing on earth can separate you.

Happy Mothers Day!

Great Stories

2010-04-11T09:34:00.000-07:00

This winter I found a great book that I would love to share. It's called Hero Tales by Dave & Neta Jackson. It has become my kids favorite books for morning devotional. The book contains stories about fifteen heroes that have inspired my children. The first story was about Gladys Aylward who was told she was not qualified to be a missionary. She didn't give up her dream to serve God and her story was an example of courage, confidence, faith, and perseverance. I had tears in my eyes when learning about her month long journey over the mountains with hundereds of children.

I was telling a good friend about how Glays inspired me and she asked if I had seen the movie, "The Inn of the sixth Happiness" with Ingrid Bergman? We found it on netflix and watched it on a cold Saturday morning. My kids made me pause the movie for any bathroom breaks!!!! Reading the stories about Gladys sparked their interest and now they are even wanting to do reports on her. Talk about inspiring! So needless to say we went on NetFlix and looked for other movies about people in the book. Just finished watching a story on Amy Carmichael. Highly recommed this one too. So many inspiring lives!!! If you are looking for a new book, I would highly recommend Hero Tales!! Happy reading!

Making Memories

2010-02-19T20:47:00.001-08:00

Several years ago my mom stated that when she died she wanted her three daughters and their families to take some of their inheritance and go on a vacation to celebrate her life. After thinking about this wish she realized that she didn't want to be excluded from the party. She did not want to put off a wonderful experience and miss out on a precious opportunity. She realized that time is a precious commodity and every day a wonderful gift. Her wish changed and she decided to take each family on a dream trip while she was still in good health and great spirits.

Our family was the first to go on our dream trip. We spent months talking about where to go. The possibilities were endless and so were our imaginations. Finally, our family decided on a seven day cruise to the Caribbean. It is hard to describe how wonderful the experience was. The entire trip was magical! We snorkeled in Cozumel, swam with manta rays in the Cayman Islands, searched for shells on tropical beaches, and danced the night away floating on the open seas. Every day was an adventure! The best part for me was watching my children make memories with their grandmother. After the trip we put scrapbooks together for our family and my mom. The scrapbook sits on our coffee table and we look at it often, the pictures taking us back in time to sunny beaches and family fun. The memories of that trip will last a lifetime.

Now the party continues as my mom plans her next adventure with my sister's family. They leave in two weeks for a cruise to the Mexican Riviera where they too will experience exciting adventures and make unforgettable memories.

When you are a parent it is often difficult to get through the day, let alone make a memory. Life can be overwhelming and it becomes so difficult to stop and take time to make a wonderful memory. None of us know how much time we have on this earth. This incredible experience reminded me how precious life is and how a good memory can become priceless. As the saying goes, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life."

Each day we have an opportunity to be present in the lives of our friends and family. Take time to stop and enjoy the journey. Experience memories with your family because you never know what life has in store.

My wish is to take my children's families on a dream vacation one day. I don't know where we'll go, but the key is to take the time. Don't let the moments get away from you. Be a part of the party and be present for the experience. Making memories is too much fun to pass up!

2009-12-10T23:01:00.000-08:00

The following was reportedly written on the wall of Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta, India. Today I read this to my children for our morning devotional and it opened the door for a great discussion. ENJOY!

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
- Mother Teresa

Three Gifts

2009-11-04T10:59:00.000-08:00

If you feel financially and mentally overwhelmed with the frenzy of gift giving during the holidays, here is an idea that may help you refocus your time and attention to the spirit of Christmas. About nine years ago I was reading a book about holiday traditions and learned of children receiving three simple gifts on Christmas, just as Jesus received three gifts from the Wise Men. We gathered together and talked about starting this tradition in our own family. Everyone agreed this would help us focus on more important aspects and free up time and money for the entire family.

It is hard to explain the peace that comes with this tradition. Life has been simplified!!! I no longer walk through the aisles of stores throwing items in the cart because I am afraid my kids do not have enough to open on Christmas morning. My husband and I plan what items will be selected for the three gifts and work together as a team to purchase these presents. Just so you know, these three gifts are not typically expensive gifts.

If you decide to try this idea remember there is still flexibility for other traditions such as stockings filled with basic items like socks, batteries, and new toothbrushes. On Christmas Eve you may still decide to give pajamas, a new Christmas book, or a family game. You could even have a surprise family gift that is discovered through a treasure hunt. The idea is to keep it simple! Keep only the traditions that add to the holiday.

I have to admit that almost every year I look at the assembly of three gifts sitting out in the living room and it looks painfully inadequate. I wonder if my kids will be disappointed or wish they had more. But every Christmas morning the girls run into the living room and laugh with delight.

If you are wondering if your kids will miss opening piles of gifts on Christmas morning, rest assured. It is surprising to see how many gifts still end up under the tree from grandparents, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, cousins, friends, and neighbors. The three gifts has definitely become one of our family’s favorite holiday traditions. We love the simplicity of our gift giving and the peace that has filled our home. We often hear our kids telling others how they receive three gifts at Christmas, just like Jesus.

If you have a favorite holiday tradition, I would love to hear from you.

Lack of Memory

2009-10-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

I used to be able to remember many things. I could recall birthdays, anniversaries, and special occasions easily instead of looking to the calendar to see what month it was. One day I was visiting a friend and she had a whiteboard calendar on her kitchen wall. She had marked down her husband's schedule, her kid's activities, birthdays, and appointments. This looked like the perfect solution to my failing memory. So I went to the store and bought an inexpensive white board calendar. I had some extra space so I also added a cork board and a blank whiteboard. At the time we were renovating our home so our cabinet maker put a frame on all three boards too. Total cost of the project $30.00.

I assigned each girl a color and then marked all of the their piano lessons, gymnastics classes, birthday parties, and dance lessons with the kids coordinating color of either red, green, or blue. Now at a glance my kids can look at the month and see what they have going on. My calendar has truly become my place of peace and I no longer have that nagging feeling that I am forgetting something. When someone calls to let me know about book club, or baby shower it goes on the calendar. My friends now know that if an activity makes it to the white board they can count on me to attend....and probably even on time.

At the beginning of the month the girls help me decorate the board and set up the schedule. The kids enjoy seeing what is planned for each day and they often reminded me about upcoming events. My whiteboard calendar has relieved me of the job of remembering everything. In a time where there is so much going on, it is nice to know that there are somethings I don't have to remember. Maybe this month I will even try scheduling in date night!

Patience is a Virtue

2009-10-04T11:01:00.001-07:00

Last Easter the girls were so excited to have fifteen baby chicks as an addition to our family. The chicks were so small and fragile and needed constant warmth and care. It took almost six months before they started laying eggs but the girls still checked the nests daily.

In Linda Papov’s book The Family Virtues Guide, she describes patience as “a quiet hope and expectation based on trust that, in the end, everything will be all right.” She also states that patience is “enduring a delay or troublesome situation without complaining.” Her daily thought on patience teaches that “Patience is preserving - sticking with something for as long as it takes to finish it.” Patience is a commitment to the future.

In our society it can be difficult to teach children patience. We have fast food, instant credit, instant messaging, and high speed internet. Could it be that our society has become impatient? Our children hear how they can buy homes and cars with “little or no money down”, lose weight without effort, and look like a body builder in only twenty minutes a day. This definitely does not make it any easier for children to develop the already difficult trait of patience.

I am constantly searching for avenues to teach my children patience and I am thankful when they experience that “quiet hope” for the future. Two days ago one of my girls ran in our home carrying a small brown egg. All summer the girls helped clean out the coop, feed and water the chickens, and take them to the garden for fresh greens. The girls learned that sometimes it takes time to get what they want. Even if they felt impatient, they acted calm and accepted that they didn’t have control over when the first egg would arrive. This morning we had five eggs and had a Sunday breakfast compliments of our very own chickens! The girls were so appreciative and thought it was the best breakfast they had ever had!! They experienced the rewards of patience.

Our value of the week will be patience. I hope to show my children that patience is having goals and picturing the end in the beginning. I also want to teach my girls that trust in God teaches patience. Patience is a quiet hope that can get us all through tough times.

Something to Love. . .

2009-09-18T15:53:00.000-07:00

If you were to ask me today how homeschooling is going, I would say, “great.” Today the girls woke up happy and did their chores without reminders. Sarah helped me make french toast and everyone pitched in to clean up. I was even able to catch up on a little work when the girls walked over to the library for reading time. One of the perks of living in a small town is that everything is so close. The library is around the corner, Nana and Papa live across the street, and we can sit on the front porch and see everyone in town as they come to pick up their mail at the post office. We just had lunch and now the kids are busy making towers with blocks. They have learned to balance the blocks in a pattern that is quickly approaching the ceiling. Today is good! I feel grateful for my family and can see the joy in even the simplest things.

Yesterday was another story! By noon I was crying and threatening, in my mind, to send the kids back to public school. The girls were fighting, grumpy, and didn’t want to do any learning. I couldn’t seem to find a way to inspire my children and so by mid-afternoon we were all in tears and ready to throw in the towel. By the time Scott came home I was exhausted ready to turn in my notice for parenting. I am not sure why some days feel so overwhelming, they just do. There is a saying, “When life gets to hard to stand, kneel.” I spent a long time on my knees before climbing into bed early. “Please God, help me have peace, patience, and love for my children tomorrow.”

Today I woke up and the first thing I thought of was something Karen Andreola said in her book, Pocketful of Pinecones. She said that each day she aims to give her children three things:
1) something or someone to love, 2) something to do, and
3) something to think about. I made a commitment to keep our day simple and focus on achieving all three goals. The first one may seem simple because as a parent I love my children unconditionally each day. But how do my girls feel love. Is it in a simple act of putting a band-aid on a cut, taking time to play a game, or maybe helping them in acts of service for one another. Today I would take time to notice the things that made my children feel loved.

Finding something to do is not difficult in our home. There is always something that can be done. My kids have learned never to say, “I’m bored”. This just means that they need extra chores and we have plenty of these to go around. We have lessons to do, yard work that can be done, a house to clean, and play dates scheduled throughout the week. This is one area we won’t have a hard time completing.

Thinking is another matter. I have watched my girls complete entire lessons without actually thinking beyond the obvious. It is like they were on auto pilot and just trying to get to the end of the journey. I want to provide opportunities for my girls that help them to think beyond the assignment. I can tell when they are interested in something because they will begin to ask questions instead of just giving that blank stare that says, “Is this over yet?”

Today is a good day! Small reminders have helped me to see how blessed I am. I enjoy being a mom; I just have to remind myself that life is a work in progress. No my girls are not perfect, my house is not always clean, and some days are better left just being over. But today is a good day! I have someone to love, something to do, and something to think about.

Movie Night

2009-08-31T08:42:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we decided to put a large movie screen outside on the patio and have "movie night" at our home. Footloose is currently being preformed as a musical in our area so we thought this might be a good movie for the kids so they would enjoy going to the play next month. The rating on the box said "PG" but this was before "PG" & "PG-13" ratings were used. I remember seeing Footloose when I was growing up....but I don't remember how inappropriate this movie is for young children. This was not a movie for kids!!! There was bad language, poor ideas, and inappropriate scenes. What disturbed me the most were two scenes where "Ariel", the main character in the film, decides to stand up between two moving cars as a semi-truck barrels down on her. At the very last minute she jumps into her boyfriend’s truck and leaves her friends spinning out into the dust to save their lives. If that wasn't bad enough, later in the film she stands in front of an oncoming train. At the last moment, the boy pushes her out of the way and everyone lives happily ever after. The film glorified these dangerous actions and made them seem appealing and fun to young eyes.

These dangerous scenes were especially appalling to me because our family had just watched clip about the dangers of texting and driving. Although this was a graphic movie, it was a powerful tool that provided many learning opportunities for our family. We discussed ways to stay safe in a car, things they could do to help parents stay focused on the road, and ways to let the driver know when they are doing something that is risking their life.

So this weekend I learned a few things. Before renting a movie learn more about it. A website called http://www.kidsinmind.com/ is a great resource for parents. You can learn what words are said, what type of nudity and how much, and if there is violence in the film. It really gets specific on the content of the movie. Such a great site!

The next thing I learned is that there are TV filters available such as the TVGaurdian or the TVDefender. These systems tie into your TV and mute inappropriate words or scenes. Has anyone ever used this type of filter? Does anyone have suggestions for this type of device. Does it work? Which system do you like?

So the search is on for our next film for movie night. I will definitely be doing more research before our next event. Any suggestions on movies your family loves?

2009-08-25T21:26:00.000-07:00

Most parents underestimate their children's abilities to help in the home. It can be easy to forget that a child who has mastered a complicated computer game can easily manage using the dishwasher! Understanding a child's stage of development and choosing age appropriate jobs can help the entire family work together and maximize resources. It is recommended that parents review chapter three in the Accountable Kids book to determine the child's developmental stage before implementing these suggestions. Leaning and completing these chores can develop motivation, work ethic, life skills, and confidence during critical windows of development. Small children are capable of completing one or two simple extra jobs but as children get older, and more capable, they can handle a larger quantity of jobs, as well as those that are more complex. Ages 2 to 3: Help make bed, pick up toys, help feed pets, put clothes in hamper, wipe up messes, dust, mop small areas, pile books or magazines, lay out clothes for the next day self. Ages 4 to 5: Any of the above plus, make own bed, empty wastebaskets, bring in mail or newspaper, clear and set the table, help in the kitchen, dust, use hand-held vacuum to pick up crumbs, dress self, water flowers, unload utensils from dishwasher, wash plastic dishes at sink, help carry and put away groceries. Ages 6 to 8: Any of the above plus, fold and put away laundry, sweep floors, handle personal hygiene, set and clear table, prepare school lunch, take out trash, weed, rake leaves, keep bedroom tidy, pour own drinks, answer telephone. Ages 9 to 12: Any of the above plus, load dishwasher, vacuum, sweep, mop, cook simple foods, make own snacks, wash table after meals, sew buttons, run own bath, make own breakfast, peel vegetables, cook simple food (such as toast), walk pets, pack own suitcase, clean bathroom, operate washer and dryer. Ages 13 and up: Any of the above plus, unload dishwasher, do all laundry functions, wash windows, wash car, cook meals with supervision, iron clothes, baby-sit younger siblings (with adult in the home), clean out refrigerator, clean stove and oven, make grocery lists, mow lawn, clean kitchen, change bed, make cookies or cake from box mix, plan birthday party, have neighborhood job - such as pet care or yard work, or have a paper route.

Conquer Back to School with Ease

2009-08-21T15:33:00.001-07:00

Back-to-school time is a great time to get control of the chaos and help your family stay focused on the things that matter. Accountable Kids has six simple tips to help your family stay organized and have more fun together.
1) Take time to eat as a family - Sharing a meal is a great time for families to bond. “It really matters,” says Diana Zuckerman, president of the National Research Center for Women and Families in Washington, D.C. She cites research that shows family meals, and time spent with family during those meals, impact the choices kids make and determine whether or not they stay out of trouble. “This needs to be uninterrupted time that you can be with one another and share your day.” Family meals create a great opportunity to check in with your kids and reconnect.
2) Establish regular sleep habits. – Stick to a strict and consistent bedtime schedule. Kids need 8 hours of sleep. If you kids have trouble settling down, you may establish a half hour quiet-time before bedtime. This is a perfect time to sit in bed and read, unwind, and relax before lights off. It also gives parents a little break to prepare for the next day. If your child has trouble getting up, try making changes to their alarm clock. Sometimes routine sounds can be tuned out easily, so exchange their clock with yours or set the clock to a different radio channel. Another idea is to place the alarm clock away from the bed. A fun back-to-school gift is the Clocky alarm clock that has wheels. This exciting wakeup call can roll off the table and under the bed once it goes off, forcing kids to get up. You can find this product at: http://www.nandahome.com/
3) Nightly Check - Mornings are hands-down the most chaotic time during the school day. Parents often find themselves running around making meals, finding missing shoes, recovering lost books, and struggling to make it out the door on time. Prepare the night before by coming together for five minutes each night. Take this time to work together and communicate schedules for the next day. If you really want to get organized, give your children a place to put their school items. You may set up plastic bins with your kid’s names on the drawers. Each child has a handy place to put their morning necessities. Your morning will be much less hectic with your night crew on the job.
4) Weekly Planning – Take time to come together once a week for your family meeting. This is a great time to celebrate victories, coordinate schedules, solve problems, disperse earnings, and unite together as a family. Weekly meetings don’t need to be long and can incorporate a fun game or treat. Consistent meetings create structure and harmony within the home and turn problems into learning opportunities. This is a great time to start new commitments and start the week fresh. You may want to use a family calendar to keep track of schedules discussed at your meeting. This helps everyone know and anticipate the weekly events.
5) Establish Positive Study Habits – If students sequester themselves in their rooms to concentrate on homework, that strategy can backfire, Zuckerman says, especially if they have too many distractions, such as TVs and video games in their rooms. Instead, institute quite hours in the house and have children do their homework the old-fashioned way; at the kitchen or dining room table. “As long as it’s relatively quiet, no TV or radio blaring nearby, there’s no reason they shouldn’t do their homework in a public room,” Zuckerman says. “It gives parents a glimpse into what they are doing and if they need help with their work.” You can even help your kids function at their peak with small snacks or short breaks.
6) Set Clear Family Rules – Rules are essential in order for any family to operate smoothly. Back-to-school time is a perfect time to make sure everyone is on the same page and working together. Parents may establish the basic family rules in the beginning, but it works best when children contribute to this process. Setting clear boundaries can be beneficial to everyone. Remember that family rules are established not simply for the benefit of any one person, but for the good of the entire family.

Waking up with a smile!

2009-08-21T11:10:00.000-07:00

This tip was shared by Serena from Arizona. She needed a way to help her grumpy daughter wake up and begin the day without a battle. Her solution: Each morning her mother woke her up with a small box of raisins in bed. The delicious treat gave her daughter a small boost of energy and helped her wake up on her own time. Now when her daughter comes down for breakfast she is dressed, happy, and ready for the day. Great Tip Serena!! My daughters love the raisins in bed and they don't make a mess either. My girls nibble on their treat until they are awake and ready to get dressed. Waking up with the gift of raisins in bed has brought a smile to everyone's face.

The Butterfly

2009-08-20T15:26:00.000-07:00

This year we have been fortunate to speak at numerous conventions. One of our favorite stories is called The Butterfly. This is a great example of how struggles in life can make one stronger. This story reminds us that strength is gained through difficulties and overcoming obstacles.

A man found the cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and could go no further.Then the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily, but it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand and the body would contract. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly. What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into it's wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would hinder us. We would not be as strong as we could have been and we would never fly.

Author Unknown