The following was reportedly written on the wall of Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta, India. Today I read this to my children for our morning devotional and it opened the door for a great discussion. ENJOY!


People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
- Mother Teresa

Three Gifts

If you feel financially and mentally overwhelmed with the frenzy of gift giving during the holidays, here is an idea that may help you refocus your time and attention to the spirit of Christmas. About nine years ago I was reading a book about holiday traditions and learned of children receiving three simple gifts on Christmas, just as Jesus received three gifts from the Wise Men. We gathered together and talked about starting this tradition in our own family. Everyone agreed this would help us focus on more important aspects and free up time and money for the entire family.

It is hard to explain the peace that comes with this tradition. Life has been simplified!!! I no longer walk through the aisles of stores throwing items in the cart because I am afraid my kids do not have enough to open on Christmas morning. My husband and I plan what items will be selected for the three gifts and work together as a team to purchase these presents. Just so you know, these three gifts are not typically expensive gifts.

If you decide to try this idea remember there is still flexibility for other traditions such as stockings filled with basic items like socks, batteries, and new toothbrushes. On Christmas Eve you may still decide to give pajamas, a new Christmas book, or a family game. You could even have a surprise family gift that is discovered through a treasure hunt. The idea is to keep it simple! Keep only the traditions that add to the holiday.

I have to admit that almost every year I look at the assembly of three gifts sitting out in the living room and it looks painfully inadequate. I wonder if my kids will be disappointed or wish they had more. But every Christmas morning the girls run into the living room and laugh with delight.

If you are wondering if your kids will miss opening piles of gifts on Christmas morning, rest assured. It is surprising to see how many gifts still end up under the tree from grandparents, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, cousins, friends, and neighbors. The three gifts has definitely become one of our family’s favorite holiday traditions. We love the simplicity of our gift giving and the peace that has filled our home. We often hear our kids telling others how they receive three gifts at Christmas, just like Jesus.

If you have a favorite holiday tradition, I would love to hear from you.

Lack of Memory

I used to be able to remember many things. I could recall birthdays, anniversaries, and special occasions easily instead of looking to the calendar to see what month it was. One day I was visiting a friend and she had a whiteboard calendar on her kitchen wall. She had marked down her husband's schedule, her kid's activities, birthdays, and appointments. This looked like the perfect solution to my failing memory. So I went to the store and bought an inexpensive white board calendar. I had some extra space so I also added a cork board and a blank whiteboard. At the time we were renovating our home so our cabinet maker put a frame on all three boards too. Total cost of the project $30.00.

I assigned each girl a color and then marked all of the their piano lessons, gymnastics classes, birthday parties, and dance lessons with the kids coordinating color of either red, green, or blue. Now at a glance my kids can look at the month and see what they have going on. My calendar has truly become my place of peace and I no longer have that nagging feeling that I am forgetting something. When someone calls to let me know about book club, or baby shower it goes on the calendar. My friends now know that if an activity makes it to the white board they can count on me to attend....and probably even on time.

At the beginning of the month the girls help me decorate the board and set up the schedule. The kids enjoy seeing what is planned for each day and they often reminded me about upcoming events. My whiteboard calendar has relieved me of the job of remembering everything. In a time where there is so much going on, it is nice to know that there are somethings I don't have to remember. Maybe this month I will even try scheduling in date night!

Patience is a Virtue

Last Easter the girls were so excited to have fifteen baby chicks as an addition to our family. The chicks were so small and fragile and needed constant warmth and care. It took almost six months before they started laying eggs but the girls still checked the nests daily.

In Linda Papov’s book The Family Virtues Guide, she describes patience as “a quiet hope and expectation based on trust that, in the end, everything will be all right.” She also states that patience is “enduring a delay or troublesome situation without complaining.” Her daily thought on patience teaches that “Patience is preserving - sticking with something for as long as it takes to finish it.” Patience is a commitment to the future.

In our society it can be difficult to teach children patience. We have fast food, instant credit, instant messaging, and high speed internet. Could it be that our society has become impatient? Our children hear how they can buy homes and cars with “little or no money down”, lose weight without effort, and look like a body builder in only twenty minutes a day. This definitely does not make it any easier for children to develop the already difficult trait of patience.

I am constantly searching for avenues to teach my children patience and I am thankful when they experience that “quiet hope” for the future. Two days ago one of my girls ran in our home carrying a small brown egg. All summer the girls helped clean out the coop, feed and water the chickens, and take them to the garden for fresh greens. The girls learned that sometimes it takes time to get what they want. Even if they felt impatient, they acted calm and accepted that they didn’t have control over when the first egg would arrive. This morning we had five eggs and had a Sunday breakfast compliments of our very own chickens! The girls were so appreciative and thought it was the best breakfast they had ever had!! They experienced the rewards of patience.

Our value of the week will be patience. I hope to show my children that patience is having goals and picturing the end in the beginning. I also want to teach my girls that trust in God teaches patience. Patience is a quiet hope that can get us all through tough times.

Something to Love. . .

If you were to ask me today how homeschooling is going, I would say, “great.” Today the girls woke up happy and did their chores without reminders. Sarah helped me make french toast and everyone pitched in to clean up. I was even able to catch up on a little work when the girls walked over to the library for reading time. One of the perks of living in a small town is that everything is so close. The library is around the corner, Nana and Papa live across the street, and we can sit on the front porch and see everyone in town as they come to pick up their mail at the post office. We just had lunch and now the kids are busy making towers with blocks. They have learned to balance the blocks in a pattern that is quickly approaching the ceiling. Today is good! I feel grateful for my family and can see the joy in even the simplest things.

Yesterday was another story! By noon I was crying and threatening, in my mind, to send the kids back to public school. The girls were fighting, grumpy, and didn’t want to do any learning. I couldn’t seem to find a way to inspire my children and so by mid-afternoon we were all in tears and ready to throw in the towel. By the time Scott came home I was exhausted ready to turn in my notice for parenting. I am not sure why some days feel so overwhelming, they just do. There is a saying, “When life gets to hard to stand, kneel.” I spent a long time on my knees before climbing into bed early. “Please God, help me have peace, patience, and love for my children tomorrow.”

Today I woke up and the first thing I thought of was something Karen Andreola said in her book, Pocketful of Pinecones. She said that each day she aims to give her children three things:
1) something or someone to love, 2) something to do, and
3) something to think about. I made a commitment to keep our day simple and focus on achieving all three goals. The first one may seem simple because as a parent I love my children unconditionally each day. But how do my girls feel love. Is it in a simple act of putting a band-aid on a cut, taking time to play a game, or maybe helping them in acts of service for one another. Today I would take time to notice the things that made my children feel loved.

Finding something to do is not difficult in our home. There is always something that can be done. My kids have learned never to say, “I’m bored”. This just means that they need extra chores and we have plenty of these to go around. We have lessons to do, yard work that can be done, a house to clean, and play dates scheduled throughout the week. This is one area we won’t have a hard time completing.

Thinking is another matter. I have watched my girls complete entire lessons without actually thinking beyond the obvious. It is like they were on auto pilot and just trying to get to the end of the journey. I want to provide opportunities for my girls that help them to think beyond the assignment. I can tell when they are interested in something because they will begin to ask questions instead of just giving that blank stare that says, “Is this over yet?”

Today is a good day! Small reminders have helped me to see how blessed I am. I enjoy being a mom; I just have to remind myself that life is a work in progress. No my girls are not perfect, my house is not always clean, and some days are better left just being over. But today is a good day! I have someone to love, something to do, and something to think about.

Movie Night

This past weekend we decided to put a large movie screen outside on the patio and have "movie night" at our home. Footloose is currently being preformed as a musical in our area so we thought this might be a good movie for the kids so they would enjoy going to the play next month. The rating on the box said "PG" but this was before "PG" & "PG-13" ratings were used. I remember seeing Footloose when I was growing up....but I don't remember how inappropriate this movie is for young children. This was not a movie for kids!!! There was bad language, poor ideas, and inappropriate scenes. What disturbed me the most were two scenes where "Ariel", the main character in the film, decides to stand up between two moving cars as a semi-truck barrels down on her. At the very last minute she jumps into her boyfriend’s truck and leaves her friends spinning out into the dust to save their lives. If that wasn't bad enough, later in the film she stands in front of an oncoming train. At the last moment, the boy pushes her out of the way and everyone lives happily ever after. The film glorified these dangerous actions and made them seem appealing and fun to young eyes.

These dangerous scenes were especially appalling to me because our family had just watched clip about the dangers of texting and driving. Although this was a graphic movie, it was a powerful tool that provided many learning opportunities for our family. We discussed ways to stay safe in a car, things they could do to help parents stay focused on the road, and ways to let the driver know when they are doing something that is risking their life.

So this weekend I learned a few things. Before renting a movie learn more about it. A website called http://www.kidsinmind.com/ is a great resource for parents. You can learn what words are said, what type of nudity and how much, and if there is violence in the film. It really gets specific on the content of the movie. Such a great site!

The next thing I learned is that there are TV filters available such as the TVGaurdian or the TVDefender. These systems tie into your TV and mute inappropriate words or scenes. Has anyone ever used this type of filter? Does anyone have suggestions for this type of device. Does it work? Which system do you like?

So the search is on for our next film for movie night. I will definitely be doing more research before our next event. Any suggestions on movies your family loves?

Most parents underestimate their children's abilities to help in the home. It can be easy to forget that a child who has mastered a complicated computer game can easily manage using the dishwasher! Understanding a child's stage of development and choosing age appropriate jobs can help the entire family work together and maximize resources. It is recommended that parents review chapter three in the Accountable Kids book to determine the child's developmental stage before implementing these suggestions. Leaning and completing these chores can develop motivation, work ethic, life skills, and confidence during critical windows of development. Small children are capable of completing one or two simple extra jobs but as children get older, and more capable, they can handle a larger quantity of jobs, as well as those that are more complex. Ages 2 to 3: Help make bed, pick up toys, help feed pets, put clothes in hamper, wipe up messes, dust, mop small areas, pile books or magazines, lay out clothes for the next day self. Ages 4 to 5: Any of the above plus, make own bed, empty wastebaskets, bring in mail or newspaper, clear and set the table, help in the kitchen, dust, use hand-held vacuum to pick up crumbs, dress self, water flowers, unload utensils from dishwasher, wash plastic dishes at sink, help carry and put away groceries. Ages 6 to 8: Any of the above plus, fold and put away laundry, sweep floors, handle personal hygiene, set and clear table, prepare school lunch, take out trash, weed, rake leaves, keep bedroom tidy, pour own drinks, answer telephone. Ages 9 to 12: Any of the above plus, load dishwasher, vacuum, sweep, mop, cook simple foods, make own snacks, wash table after meals, sew buttons, run own bath, make own breakfast, peel vegetables, cook simple food (such as toast), walk pets, pack own suitcase, clean bathroom, operate washer and dryer. Ages 13 and up: Any of the above plus, unload dishwasher, do all laundry functions, wash windows, wash car, cook meals with supervision, iron clothes, baby-sit younger siblings (with adult in the home), clean out refrigerator, clean stove and oven, make grocery lists, mow lawn, clean kitchen, change bed, make cookies or cake from box mix, plan birthday party, have neighborhood job - such as pet care or yard work, or have a paper route.